I've not had a good time at work this week... probably bcos I got wind that I will not have an assistant and I shall have to slog my time away while I am still with them... unfair, every manager has one and I dun get mine... worse is when the public annoys you with all the nonsense questions that they have and try to smoke their way through by having small chat with you... sorry peeps, not gonna work, i dun call the shots...
the worst part of it that the roadshow was a disaster... no wet weather plan... RULE no 1: ALWAYS PLAN FOR WET WEATHER!! what is so difficult to get a few umbrellas or extend the tentage for the public? Lack of budget? Then put the damn thing inside... dun be at the mercy of the weather. PERIOD. My mood was super lousy when I got back to work, drenched, soaked to the skin like a silly cat and filled with tonnes of administrative things to do bcos of the lack of plans... good lesson learnt... u dun do your work well, u earn all the extra work.... and oh, did i tell u i pissed off almost all my colleagues cos they were simply not bothered and not interested in knowing how to answer the public... share the load ppl.. what is so difficult about knowing more your own event? so yes, i was pissed and ppl were pissed with me...
now that i barely finished the admin work that came from yesterday's disaster, i forsee more nonsense waiting for me on my desk, in my inbox, and in the form of post-its on my wall... where is my assistant who is supposed to do all these? nowhere to be seen... sigh.... oh, i had a session with my boss this morning and told her wat happened yesterday... in her little subtle way, she tried to defend her team, tell me such things happened before.. and my reaction was, so? make sure such things dun ever happen again... how to be professional like that?
However, something did go right this week... Cubix and I took part in a slimming contest and I won the 3rd prize... its a 3 mth contest for local ppl.. and whoever lost the most wins... i didn;t really put in an effort i must say, i just did wat i normally did and so this came as a surprise to me... and yes, it felt good... and it felt better that cubix was there with me to share my joy cos she would understand how tough the process was like and how we motivated each other... =)
Cubix shared with me her career path too that night... finally she has decided to go for something that she has the passion for... I'm glad it worked out fine for her. =) I'm sure she will have tonnes of fun at the course and then when both of us have our careers on a stable stage, we can go have high tea like tai tais do and make sure jewellery shop owners bring us their most expensive jewellery to pick from... Fighting! =)
P.S Nephew is sick again.. apparently having hand foot mouth disease.. so poor thing...
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Quietness...
Dunno is it me or something else...i'm feeling like a lost soul... floating here and there... lack of vitality, energy... just plain lifeless... u know how it feels like to be wandering aimlessly along the streets? that's how i feel now...
i had a long weekend during deepavali... the week before that was so tiring.. the event finally launched after a mth long of preparation.. and this is only the beginning... long hrs at work, go home, work again, sleep and then go back to work again... it was like that for a good 2 weeks i guess.. my eyes are dry beyond imagination and i can just fall asleep at any location... coffee doesn't do wonders anymore... i remember i was so tired after the launch that while i could see the traffic light was red, my legs seem to bring me across the road... thankfully, the car stopped... and yes, so did my heart cos i literally didn't realise what i was doing until then... but yes, i pushed thru.... when it was finally launched, it felt good.. at least a big part of it is done...
after that, i lazed my whole long weekend away... other than running errands and spending some time at my grandparents place where i have not visited since they passed away, i really did nothing much... it was those days which i lazed in bed and rolled around in bed... period.
maybe it is the lazing around, suddenly i feel that i seem to have lost the aim in my life... i remember somebody in my brain telling me to give up my dream of having my own business and spend the rest of my life working for other ppl... and then i started to wonder abt how tightly i should hold onto my dream... then i thought abt how i should run my business, should i realign my beliefs with my feelings now, clean away watever that was there before and start again or drift along...
during that week long of torture, i had a realisation time with my business partner.. maybe bcos we're friends and we think we think alike.. i realise finding a business partner is similar to finding a life partner.. one wrong step and there goes... of cos, he has his strengths but there are also areas which i wish he would work on... same goes for me... i'm not exactly the best partner anybody could have.. a lot of my work partners can testify that.. esp when i have changed into events, i have become demanding and more alpha female... no longer little miss nice... i demand a lot at work and hunt ppl down when they do not give me what i want...which is why when it comes to a partner, i was really hoping for somebody who could balance me... but oh well, if this doesn't work well then somebody else may...
till now, i'm still floating around... maybe it's good to float around... *float float* hopefully, the floating season ends soon....i wanna be the energetic me again... soon i hope...
i had a long weekend during deepavali... the week before that was so tiring.. the event finally launched after a mth long of preparation.. and this is only the beginning... long hrs at work, go home, work again, sleep and then go back to work again... it was like that for a good 2 weeks i guess.. my eyes are dry beyond imagination and i can just fall asleep at any location... coffee doesn't do wonders anymore... i remember i was so tired after the launch that while i could see the traffic light was red, my legs seem to bring me across the road... thankfully, the car stopped... and yes, so did my heart cos i literally didn't realise what i was doing until then... but yes, i pushed thru.... when it was finally launched, it felt good.. at least a big part of it is done...
after that, i lazed my whole long weekend away... other than running errands and spending some time at my grandparents place where i have not visited since they passed away, i really did nothing much... it was those days which i lazed in bed and rolled around in bed... period.
maybe it is the lazing around, suddenly i feel that i seem to have lost the aim in my life... i remember somebody in my brain telling me to give up my dream of having my own business and spend the rest of my life working for other ppl... and then i started to wonder abt how tightly i should hold onto my dream... then i thought abt how i should run my business, should i realign my beliefs with my feelings now, clean away watever that was there before and start again or drift along...
during that week long of torture, i had a realisation time with my business partner.. maybe bcos we're friends and we think we think alike.. i realise finding a business partner is similar to finding a life partner.. one wrong step and there goes... of cos, he has his strengths but there are also areas which i wish he would work on... same goes for me... i'm not exactly the best partner anybody could have.. a lot of my work partners can testify that.. esp when i have changed into events, i have become demanding and more alpha female... no longer little miss nice... i demand a lot at work and hunt ppl down when they do not give me what i want...which is why when it comes to a partner, i was really hoping for somebody who could balance me... but oh well, if this doesn't work well then somebody else may...
till now, i'm still floating around... maybe it's good to float around... *float float* hopefully, the floating season ends soon....i wanna be the energetic me again... soon i hope...
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Of friends, bucket list & you...
I've been meaning to write this post on friends for the longest time.... i wondered how to put it across so that it doesn't sound mean or rude.. but oh, what the heck...
Friends come and go in my life... I've been hurt very badly by a lot of them as well.... I guess the worst one was the ones whom I knew from Starbucks when I broke up with my ex... well, to cut the story short, I was cheated of almost $10k... *heart pain!!* which is why i am very cautious when it comes to making friends... however, as most ppl would say about me.. i'm somebody who does not learn her lesson... *nods head in agreement* I still give all my best in friendship and still wonder if i will get hurt by friends around me... I do that kind of thoughts once in a while.. always wondering if I put in 100% at this, would I end up getting myself full of bleeding cuts and bruises? I guess I can feel the hurt very vividly in my tiny little heart... even if as much as I wish to give everyone all.. currently, i can say i'm fortunate to have friends around me... ppl like cubix, mayling, joslin, sharon, poovan and a whole bunch of other ppl who does come and go but everytime we meet, we are still the same old ppl... maybe out of this bunch, one or two of them might cause me hurt but sometimes, maybe it is the journey that matters...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some of my friends might have noticed the bucket list on my msn handle... some of them have never heard of the bucket list.. i never did either until i saw this movie where 2 patients whom are both dying ended up sharing a ward and started talking about a bucket list... to define a bucket list it is the list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket aka die... here's a couple of videos about the bucket list
This is from one of the guys I know who set out to fulfil his bucket list
I attended a short seminar on bucket list on Sat night and yes, it was a mind blowing experience... and thanks to this seminar, i had my own bucket list which I set to fulfil and the group of the ppl who attended this seminar are going bungee jumping at Macau on 1 Nov as they all have bungee jumping on their bucket list... for me, I might go and give my support... and sheesh, the height freaks me out... no thank you...
So what is on my bucket list? Lots... at first I thought it was just career stuff that I wanted to fulfil but as the seminar went on, more and more of me were dug out and yes, even the part which I truly do not wish to face appeared on my bucket list as well... I knew I had to get it done bcos I had even dreamt about it and woke up crying... so I knew this would be the first one I needed to do... so I picked up my mobile and smsed my ex bf... after which, everyone came round and gave me a good hug... and yes, I cried... it's been such a while since I unlocked everything in me and cried...
So we set off as a bunch of better and stronger persons to fulfil our bucket list... be it hard or easy.. all it takes is just a little step and hey, u are a step closer to your dreams...only if you dare to dream of it... all of us went to marina barrage to fly kites at midnight after the seminar in order to help one person fulfil his bucket list... and yes, the feeling is great!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You, were something i chose to lock it deep inside me... didn't want to say anything else except at times I would write to you on my blog... bcos i felt if someday you would remember me, u would at least knew how i felt during your absence... the truth is, although, you are not around physically, u were always there in my heart... be it when i was working in little india for that short period or the place we had drinks in the hotel or even something happy i wanted to share with someone, you were always there... u never left... maybe i am silly.. the same silly girl who was screaming when she first saw cows and our porky pigs and not forgetting the bunch of puppies who i had carried despite their dirt and all...
During this one yr, I woke up numerous times in the middle of the night wondering if i should die the next day and i hadn't told you what i wanted to tell you, would anybody be able to reach you and tell you how i felt? would anybody even know how much you mean to me? Maybe this is what we call fate... for some weird reason, despite all that has happened, even if i didn't wish to speak to that lady again, i couldn't say no to you. you still mean the world to me. which is why i am grateful for your responses that night and this time, i trust that they come from the real you that i have believed you are all this while... i dunno what will happen to us after this, i dun wish to assume or jump to conclusions... i know you will speak when you are ready, like you always do after our huge fights... and you know i am still here.
Friends come and go in my life... I've been hurt very badly by a lot of them as well.... I guess the worst one was the ones whom I knew from Starbucks when I broke up with my ex... well, to cut the story short, I was cheated of almost $10k... *heart pain!!* which is why i am very cautious when it comes to making friends... however, as most ppl would say about me.. i'm somebody who does not learn her lesson... *nods head in agreement* I still give all my best in friendship and still wonder if i will get hurt by friends around me... I do that kind of thoughts once in a while.. always wondering if I put in 100% at this, would I end up getting myself full of bleeding cuts and bruises? I guess I can feel the hurt very vividly in my tiny little heart... even if as much as I wish to give everyone all.. currently, i can say i'm fortunate to have friends around me... ppl like cubix, mayling, joslin, sharon, poovan and a whole bunch of other ppl who does come and go but everytime we meet, we are still the same old ppl... maybe out of this bunch, one or two of them might cause me hurt but sometimes, maybe it is the journey that matters...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some of my friends might have noticed the bucket list on my msn handle... some of them have never heard of the bucket list.. i never did either until i saw this movie where 2 patients whom are both dying ended up sharing a ward and started talking about a bucket list... to define a bucket list it is the list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket aka die... here's a couple of videos about the bucket list
This is from one of the guys I know who set out to fulfil his bucket list
I attended a short seminar on bucket list on Sat night and yes, it was a mind blowing experience... and thanks to this seminar, i had my own bucket list which I set to fulfil and the group of the ppl who attended this seminar are going bungee jumping at Macau on 1 Nov as they all have bungee jumping on their bucket list... for me, I might go and give my support... and sheesh, the height freaks me out... no thank you...
So what is on my bucket list? Lots... at first I thought it was just career stuff that I wanted to fulfil but as the seminar went on, more and more of me were dug out and yes, even the part which I truly do not wish to face appeared on my bucket list as well... I knew I had to get it done bcos I had even dreamt about it and woke up crying... so I knew this would be the first one I needed to do... so I picked up my mobile and smsed my ex bf... after which, everyone came round and gave me a good hug... and yes, I cried... it's been such a while since I unlocked everything in me and cried...
So we set off as a bunch of better and stronger persons to fulfil our bucket list... be it hard or easy.. all it takes is just a little step and hey, u are a step closer to your dreams...only if you dare to dream of it... all of us went to marina barrage to fly kites at midnight after the seminar in order to help one person fulfil his bucket list... and yes, the feeling is great!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You, were something i chose to lock it deep inside me... didn't want to say anything else except at times I would write to you on my blog... bcos i felt if someday you would remember me, u would at least knew how i felt during your absence... the truth is, although, you are not around physically, u were always there in my heart... be it when i was working in little india for that short period or the place we had drinks in the hotel or even something happy i wanted to share with someone, you were always there... u never left... maybe i am silly.. the same silly girl who was screaming when she first saw cows and our porky pigs and not forgetting the bunch of puppies who i had carried despite their dirt and all...
During this one yr, I woke up numerous times in the middle of the night wondering if i should die the next day and i hadn't told you what i wanted to tell you, would anybody be able to reach you and tell you how i felt? would anybody even know how much you mean to me? Maybe this is what we call fate... for some weird reason, despite all that has happened, even if i didn't wish to speak to that lady again, i couldn't say no to you. you still mean the world to me. which is why i am grateful for your responses that night and this time, i trust that they come from the real you that i have believed you are all this while... i dunno what will happen to us after this, i dun wish to assume or jump to conclusions... i know you will speak when you are ready, like you always do after our huge fights... and you know i am still here.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
random thoughts
i think humans are weird... when u are working, u wished you were doing your own stuff like your own business and can ask all the annoying ppl to keep quiet..however,when u are doing your own stuff, u wanna go back to the monthly salaried job..
humans are like that i guess... when we have something, we want something else...but when we do get that something else, we start to change our minds.. we are weird sometimes...
recently, i had these thoughts.. if i have to go back to the workforce after a business failure, would i be afraid to face ppl, the new environment and even the routine lifestyle of a working adult? u know, i have absolutely no desire to lead a life of a monthly salaried worker...something which none of my friends seem to be able to notice... sometimes, i see myself as a wild, untamed horse... keeping running with the wind and refused to be restrained...maybe thats why ppl call me weird sometimes...
sometimes, i look at my prince and princess at home, i think they are fortunate...they dun have much choices to begin with... only one type of food, one house to sleep in, one person to go to for food and of course, each other to play with...life is simple for them... of cos, sometimes, they cant make up their minds abt if they hate or love each other...
oh, the complexity of me....
humans are like that i guess... when we have something, we want something else...but when we do get that something else, we start to change our minds.. we are weird sometimes...
recently, i had these thoughts.. if i have to go back to the workforce after a business failure, would i be afraid to face ppl, the new environment and even the routine lifestyle of a working adult? u know, i have absolutely no desire to lead a life of a monthly salaried worker...something which none of my friends seem to be able to notice... sometimes, i see myself as a wild, untamed horse... keeping running with the wind and refused to be restrained...maybe thats why ppl call me weird sometimes...
sometimes, i look at my prince and princess at home, i think they are fortunate...they dun have much choices to begin with... only one type of food, one house to sleep in, one person to go to for food and of course, each other to play with...life is simple for them... of cos, sometimes, they cant make up their minds abt if they hate or love each other...
oh, the complexity of me....
Yawns... pls come quickly
I am awake at 3.09am in the morning when I should be asleep... i tossed and turned like a salad for a good one hr before i decided i should get out of bed to hang out... i did have a few good yawns but nothing indicated that I can fall soundly asleep... Now, I shall go listen to the CD which Pam got me.. hope it works...
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Thank You Pam!
I got this strange looking package this evening... I wondered to myself who could this be from... afterall, every since Cubix came back from US, I hardly have packages...
To my pleasant surprise, it's from Pam! Pam is a wonderful lady whom I got to know 5 yrs back from a cat forum and many yrs on, we kept in touch via MSN, letters and packages sometimes.. However, as I got busy with work and was hardly online, our communications got lesser and I would read her blog to keep myself updated about her life in Canada... Incidentally, I was thinking about Pam these couple of days.. I remembered she would have finished her school by now and wanted to send her a card to congrats her and I reminded myself to go check for her latest address and VOILA! her package arrives at my lap!!
Here's what came in the package:
A music CD that's good for bedtime and calming oneself as well as an eye cream for my stubborn dark eye circles!!! Yay!!
In addition to that, she also sent me a picture of her in her convocation gown!! Pam, I'm so proud of you! It's on my little board of fame in my room!
On the board, we have my own grad photos with my family, cubix and me and her adorable daughters and of cos, pictures of dogs and cats... in case you wonder what is that old newspaper on the board, that's the newspaper article that reported about my event management course when it first started...
Once again, thank you Pam! Thanks for being around me during my ups and downs... although we hardly meet online now but yes, you are still on my mind! Do update your blog too ya!
To my pleasant surprise, it's from Pam! Pam is a wonderful lady whom I got to know 5 yrs back from a cat forum and many yrs on, we kept in touch via MSN, letters and packages sometimes.. However, as I got busy with work and was hardly online, our communications got lesser and I would read her blog to keep myself updated about her life in Canada... Incidentally, I was thinking about Pam these couple of days.. I remembered she would have finished her school by now and wanted to send her a card to congrats her and I reminded myself to go check for her latest address and VOILA! her package arrives at my lap!!
Here's what came in the package:
A music CD that's good for bedtime and calming oneself as well as an eye cream for my stubborn dark eye circles!!! Yay!!
In addition to that, she also sent me a picture of her in her convocation gown!! Pam, I'm so proud of you! It's on my little board of fame in my room!
On the board, we have my own grad photos with my family, cubix and me and her adorable daughters and of cos, pictures of dogs and cats... in case you wonder what is that old newspaper on the board, that's the newspaper article that reported about my event management course when it first started...
Once again, thank you Pam! Thanks for being around me during my ups and downs... although we hardly meet online now but yes, you are still on my mind! Do update your blog too ya!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
I see myself in you
I met a lot of friends this week...let's count... my sec school classmate YB, my sec school senior Daniel whom I accidentally bumped into on the streets and arranged for a catch up, my volunteers from Cat Welfare days, Min Li & Lorraine, my SAFRA colleagues Bev & Angela and also the most impt cubix from HP and oh, i missed out my personal barista in Starbucks HV, Manosh... quite a fair bit of ppl considering today is only Sat...
Catching up with so many ppl have let me seen a little bit more about myself...with no names mentioned i shall share this with you...
XX has gotten into a complicated relationship.. it's slowing draining XX's energy and yet XX has refused to let go of the relationship... sounds familiar to most of us? XX told me this that struck me quite a fair bit... "I'm holding onto that little bit of trust I have in him and that he is the person that I know" I guess all of us have been this way in sometime of our lives... I have said this sentence to numerous ppl about my ex bf... and I still hold onto that little faith up to this time.. yes, call me silly if you must...
YY has gotten a new job offer... offering her a bigger scope and much more responsibilites.. but she is hesitant... bcos she wonders if she can manage... another friend told her, she would jump right at it if the chance is right in front... while I was more sitting on the fence regarding her situation, i realised if it was me, i would have the same kind of considerations that YY would have... but suddenly, I realised this phrase which I shared with Manosh, " Money only rewards action takers" same goes for opportunities and everything else in our lives... let me share this with you.. I went for one of those entrepreneur preview seminars to listen what they have to offer... a small little game was played where the speaker said, " I'll sell this CD worth $18 to anybody in this room at any price." All of us in the room were puzzled.. asking each other what was she saying, whispering, questioning but nobody dared to put up their hands to purchase, wondering if they would be tricked... suddenly, this lady raised her hand and said she'll pay $2 for the CD... so she got it at $2 bucks for something that was selling at $18 in the market... so this scenario taught us to grab any opportunity that comes along.. sometimes, thinking too much will make u miss out a lot..
Now to do a bit of picture update...
Catching up with so many ppl have let me seen a little bit more about myself...with no names mentioned i shall share this with you...
XX has gotten into a complicated relationship.. it's slowing draining XX's energy and yet XX has refused to let go of the relationship... sounds familiar to most of us? XX told me this that struck me quite a fair bit... "I'm holding onto that little bit of trust I have in him and that he is the person that I know" I guess all of us have been this way in sometime of our lives... I have said this sentence to numerous ppl about my ex bf... and I still hold onto that little faith up to this time.. yes, call me silly if you must...
YY has gotten a new job offer... offering her a bigger scope and much more responsibilites.. but she is hesitant... bcos she wonders if she can manage... another friend told her, she would jump right at it if the chance is right in front... while I was more sitting on the fence regarding her situation, i realised if it was me, i would have the same kind of considerations that YY would have... but suddenly, I realised this phrase which I shared with Manosh, " Money only rewards action takers" same goes for opportunities and everything else in our lives... let me share this with you.. I went for one of those entrepreneur preview seminars to listen what they have to offer... a small little game was played where the speaker said, " I'll sell this CD worth $18 to anybody in this room at any price." All of us in the room were puzzled.. asking each other what was she saying, whispering, questioning but nobody dared to put up their hands to purchase, wondering if they would be tricked... suddenly, this lady raised her hand and said she'll pay $2 for the CD... so she got it at $2 bucks for something that was selling at $18 in the market... so this scenario taught us to grab any opportunity that comes along.. sometimes, thinking too much will make u miss out a lot..
Now to do a bit of picture update...
Cubix got me the huge bag of froot loops from US.. GIANT SIZE!!! As u can see, I'm truly happy with it.. hehe
We also went for Mac Mcflurry... did u know there's a mix and match thingy for Mcflurry? Super cool! And also we had a Milo nugget thief.... bah...
Spent some time with Xaviar by taking him for rides... he loves such things... and he's growing up fast...
I took this pic to show off to Xaviar.. hehe... he was quite amazed that I took pics with his fav big bird and elmo.. hehe
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Travelling with myself...
These days, I've been travelling a lot with myself... from west to east, to town, to north, to various places that I have never been to....
Usually, travelling alone can be quite boring but for me, when i just have my ipod and myself, songs in my ears and nice scenery throughout the bus routes, it seems to be relaxing for me... nothing but just stone...
ahh... the days of just being myself...
Usually, travelling alone can be quite boring but for me, when i just have my ipod and myself, songs in my ears and nice scenery throughout the bus routes, it seems to be relaxing for me... nothing but just stone...
ahh... the days of just being myself...
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